ADAM VINCENT

This bio works best if while reading it you adopt the character of a confident fruiterer trying to sell oranges at a saturday morning market. Except you should replace the oranges with me. The market is busy so you'll have to be loud and proud no matter how ridiculous it may seem. ''It's a great morning for some Vincent. Fresh Vincent $2.99 a kilo.'' Pause look around. You see an old lady with a trolly. She's slow. you target her. ''In 1997 he was a national finalist in Triple JJJ's raw comedy. Back then he wasn't great but he had a crack. Fresh Vincent...Oh hello there...nice day. Would you like some Vincent? He's full of Vitamin C.'' She looks confused. You've startled her. You feel a bit guilty so you pop a Vincent in her trolly. She's not long for this world...you want to make her smile again. She grabs the Vincent...she smiles...Jack pot! Back to work. ''Vincent. Vincent. $2.99 a kilo. Buy your Vincent today. This Vincent has performed in several Adelaide Fringes and Melbourne comedy festivals. He recently found his own comedy voice.'' You've got a crowd now. They have no idea what you're talking about. ''He's been on the television and talked on the wireless. 2.99dollars a kilo. Get your Vincent while he's available. Taste his funny, laugh at his skin. Get him now before we put him back in his box. 2.99dollars a kilo.'' The market goes on, things happen, old people drift away, hopefully smiling about their time at the market.

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